Post 28

When writing this it's something I envisioned as a performance piece, but not "spoken word". A monologue, I guess. I almost wanted to write in stage directions. Maybe writing something like that will be a future challenge. Def not my forte.

I think this could use some work. It seems a tad bit disjointed. Well, some of that's intentional because I wanted to reflect the turmoil and the ups and downs I imagined Leah was going through.

Any way, one of the reasons I identified with Leah and her story is that I have often caught myself trying to find in a partner what I can only find in God. I need to already be fulfilled and whole, because it is two whole and healthy people that form a strong relationship. My current period of singleness is a wonderful opportunity to invest in my life and the lives of those around me in ways I could not if I were dating or married. Until such a time comes when I have a partner, my focus is to grow in faith and character, and simply, to love. But I digress. Without further ado, here's today's creative contribution.

Leah

"When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he enabled her to have children, but Rachel could not conceive." Gen 29:31

"Her eyes are dull", they say. "Her sister's much prettier." Hm. As if I can't hear them.

He doesn't love me. Given in the night like something shameful, to be hidden. But, I thought the sweet caress, the tender touch, was mine.

Yet the gaze which looked upon me when morning had come did not reflect the shining of my own. Dull, it seemed.

Wife. What meaning has this if there is no love?

But look, a son!
Surely God has seen my misery. He will give me my husband's attention. Surely!

Surely...

Surely He is the one who hears. If not for one son then for two sons my husband will come to me!
And yet he still puts her before me.
Why?
Why?!

What have I done but love him?! Can he not love me back? This time he will feel affection for me. This time he will be attached to me and depart no more, for I have borne him another son!
I alone have provided this inheritance for him.

Will he not come to me? Will his face not shine with pride and joy when he beholds me and the sons I have brought into this world?

Oh.
Oh no, no, no, no...

Enough.

With the birth of this fourth son I praise the Most High!
God has heard me, drawn near to me, and loved me where my husband would not. When He looks upon me His focus is not upon the "dullness" of my eyes, but upon the purity of my heart. The Lord of Heaven's Armies sees and hears the cries of the suffering. He comes in mighty splendor, with new life upon His breath and healing in His wings. He rejoices in me, woman of His creation, beautiful in His sight, known and loved even in the womb. He has heard me, drawn near to me, and loved me where my husband could not. Oh yes, now I will praise the Lord.