Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Ask me for the nations...

Very recently (yesterday, in fact), I was having one of my random bursts of manic energy. Usually these occur around the time I go to the gym, where I can take full advantage of them. Not so yesterday. So instead, I decided to work my brain muscle and began outlining this rather recent dream of mine: starting a Christian radio show.

I had nothing to do really, sitting in the atrium of the school where I was substituting, and so I guiltlessly put pen to paper, waiting to see what show titles and mission statements would come to me. None did. So then I prayed (wish I had sooner...), and everything just came in this rush of ideas and connections: a title, an alternative title if that one was already taken, a mission statement, tag line, twitter handle, and two logo options, one of which could simply be reserved as an alternative image for any possible future merchandise.

I felt this rush of excitement and as I sat looking over the words now spilling over the pages, I thanked God for His kindness. Then I felt more than heard, "Ask me for the nations, and I'll give them to you."

That was it! This was the word recently given to me by my ministry partner.

The show is about connecting nations and connecting people to opportunities to serve. I looked up to see the flags of Honduras, Albania, Trinidad and Tobago, and so many other countries all around me. It was beautiful. I remembered the word. I remembered that I asked for the nations, and I remembered that God proves Himself faithful.

I began to see connections, and later that evening had the excitement of speaking with my spiritual father, who if anything, definitely knows how to encourage people in dreams.

So here I am, open to new adventures, and so excited to see how things turn out.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014


I tend to be a dreamer, likely in every sense of the word. Right now two dreams are standing out to me. Maybe three.

When in Poland last week I had one of those stand out dreams. In the dream I had been napping, but an itch in the bend of my arm woke me. I moved to scratch and ended up with fingers covered in gold dust. It was all over my arms and upper body, and there was even this new gold inlay pattern set into the bottom of my jeans, that I only noticed when time fast forwarded and our team was leading a late night worship set. It was pretty cool, to say the least, and while I don't understand the dream in its entirety, certainly not all of it was lost on me.

The second dream was from last night. I had what seemed to be an assignment. One of my Italian professors in college, who was also my major advisor, had a beautiful stretch of cloth in a soft white color that had unfinished embroidery and crochet work. Knowing that I could do both, she asked me to finish the work, and I accepted, pushing aside that small feeling of not wanting to inconvenience myself.

I would be adding a pretty yellow/gold crocheted brocade, and floral and berry-like patterns in a rich red. Hints of other colors also caught my eyes. My professor seemed to think it would be easy for me.

As she smiled, she held the cloth up for me and that's when I realized it was actually a robe.  I let her put it on me, realizing she was giving me the robe to keep because I had accepted the task of finishing it.

The robe looked too small for me, but somehow it worked. I would adjust, adapt, change.
This particular dream is not clear for me. What have I agreed to finish? What's the symbol here? I'll find out eventually ;).

Monday, October 20, 2014

Reflection on Kalisz

So, it's right around right around this point that I some final reflections about my time in Kalisz this year. There will likely be more posts about specific moments in Poland, but I'm feeling a bit more meta-narrative today.

Last year I went through the gamut of healing, it seemed. I let go of a lot of hurt and anger I didn't even realize I was holding on to. This year, with the lens no longer focused inward, I could begin to look around and think of being a blessing to others.

It hasn't been very long since my eyes were opened to the prophetic within me and I asked God for more gifting in this area. It would seem God decided to use Kalisz as a training ground.

For session after session I drew small prophetic pictures for different groups in the pages of my journal. I even briefly reflected on how the remaining frayed bits of paper made me feel when I looked at them.

The pages ripped from my journal remind me that I'm not alone on this journey.
 I am reminded of the connections between us. Us, this big, beautiful body of Christ.
A bride.                                                                                                                    
It was so exciting to engage with God this way and to begin to see a larger, even more beautiful portrait of His bride. When I'm moved prophetically it's often in images, and each image I see is like looking at a piece of God's heart revealed.
This week I saw more pieces and caught a bigger vision for how they all fit together. I understood more the importance of building others up in their faith. At the end of the day, that is the point of every person's unique combination of personality and gifting. Wherever you are, this is your potential 'building up' place. Who can you encourage today?
I see the students I encounter and my heart is moved for them. My colleagues, people on the bus, the bus driver. Everyone! I don't want to miss my moments: those divine appointments God set up for me because He just knew I would be the right person to reach someone else. I am reminded of three words my ministry partner has taught me: Look, Listen, Love.
It seems only fitting that at the beginning of my own faith journey the same words would ring true, and lessons learned and to be learned would be mirrored.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

There and back again

It almost seems strange that an entire year has gone by since I was last in Poland. An entire year!
It's wonderful and amazing to see so many familiar faces, and it's a blast getting to know the new ones.
This year is different in the sense that less of the responsibility falls on me. Last year I was the lead singer on every song, whereas this year I'm only lead singing and playing for half of each set. It's different, but good.
While I appreciate the rest it gives me, I can't pretend there were no reminders to be humble needed. One can grow accustomed to being the center of attention, even when all intents are to redirect and focus that attention on God.
So, it is with great pleasure that I can say I have learned to let go of the reigns a bit. This week I am leading worship with two of my best friends. I'll never get these moments back and I'll never get to try them over, so instead of griping about communication problems and last minute set changes, I'd rather just enjoy the ride. It's like we're all riding the wind of the Spirit, seeing where it takes us. The freer I allow myself to be, the more the Spirit can move me.

Similarly, the more the Spirit can move through me.

A day or two ago many of the people gathered here spent the better part of three hours prophesying over each other in the upper room. Only certain people were nominated from each team here to do the prophesying and then we formed pairs. I was nominated from team Albania and stepped forward to flex my newly discovered prophetic muscles.
Talk about fabulous! Opening yourself to God in this way, listening to hear what He has to say to someone, oh it was amazing! It got to the point that, as I heard more clearly, I could speak more specifically into people's lives and my partner and I could even tell what profession or hobby someone had that God wanted to speak into.*

Honestly, what impacts me most about this isn't how fun and awesome etc. it was to grow in a spiritual gifting. What I am left with is the beauty of God's heart for people. When you begin to listen to God's heart for other people you begin to see them as He does, and so the effect is twofold. You see more clearly a beautiful God, and through that you see more clearly His beautiful people.
I was purposefully, intentionally, connecting with and seeing through love.
There's no way that doesn't leave a mark on someone.

*(I do realize that this type of stuff isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I believe in an all powerful and creative God who can very well do crazy awesome creative things that we don't always have to understand. It's definitely part of the fun!)

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Getting to Poland

Hello folks! Let me tell you the story of how I arrived in Poland....

It all started one unseasonably warm evening at the airport commonly known as Logan International.  As I was walking to check my guitar into the oversized luggage area, I was stopped by a woman and a man holding a very bright light attached to a large camera. Reluctantly I agreed to talk about ebola, which of course is what anyone traveling internationally right now wants to talk about right before they get on an airplane...

Well, it turns out my interview was picked up for the 11:00 news and I aired repeatedly on television for days. Cool. Totally prophetic. Totally.

I then made it through check out in record time, chatted with a few loved ones while waiting to board, and then slept like a baby the entire flight, waking up only when people came around with food and Swiss chocolate. Miracle? I think so.

After arriving in Poland better rested than I thought I would, I meet the person picking me up only to find out a ride to the next city I'm heading to isn't in the picture. Apparently I have to take either the bus or the train. After much indecision I opt for the train.

Judging from the story of the Italian team, neither option was a good choice. For the train, we first had a 30 minute delay, and then, when we're literally a few minutes away from my stop, the train crashes into something. Crashes!!

Considering the train ride was already like another five hours added onto my traveling day, I was about at my breaking point. Being so close certainly didn't help. Still, despite my brain shooting a running monologue of all the things that could now go wrong, I managed to get in contact with the emergency person given to me.

After much conversation through google translate, I was assured that the person, who also didn't speak English, was now coming to get me, and that I need only wait calmly.


So I wait in what can only be described as a state of supernatural peace for an hour and a half until the super hippie Polish guy with long grey hair comes to pick me  up. I then leave, in the dead of night, trekking through the mud on the side of the train tracks to reach his car, which is parked behind the police cars and fire trucks.

It helped that the firemen were fans of Bob Marley and we had a Marley jam session with my guitar while I waited. In retrospect, it all seems a bit far-fetched...

I arrive at the hotel, check into my room, joyfully reunite with my missionary partners, and then slept happily ever after.

The End

Friday, October 10, 2014


The journey of creative response to a week's worth of worship begins! My first actual session is coming up in no less than two hours! Despite the fact that that translates to 2-4AM my current time, it should be fun fun fun. The late-night crowd is always a treat. :)
In the meantime, I leave you with today's impression from sitting in on other people's worship sessions.

 It's always like this, isn't it?
I love Your Presence!

Overflowing, overflowing

I burst with joy
Joy over Your great love, Your great forgiveness, and Your willingness to give millionth chances.
I'm not foolish enough to think this chance is only my second.

I am aware of, enraptured with, a God who is love, who is just, merciful, and all-encompasses me with His knowledge of me. His view of me.

He sees me as beautiful, He sees me as His bride, His beloved, made pure and holy by the blood of the Lamb. Perfect and being perfected.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Ready, Set...

Life holds no punches.

I'm a bit bruised from the bumpy ride I've been on as of late, but as is usually the case with me, I wouldn't change it.

I'm now packing for Poland, looking at TSA approved containers and trying to find ways to wear the same articles of clothing seven times over seven days without anyone noticing. The most important item to come with me, aside from my hair moisturizer (I'm serious), is my guitar. If that means skimping on my fashion sense, so be it. It'll be an awesome challenge.

I fly out tomorrow.
To say I'm excited would be an understatement.

I'll be linking my Poland blogging endeavors to another site, so I'll let you all know if I'll just post links or do some sort of re-blogging.

Til next time folks!