I've written tons (songs, poems, rambling thoughts in my journal) and so much has happened since my last post. A few weeks can seem like a lifetime when the Lord is working things through in you, and introducing you to people who in the span of mere minutes impact you for a lifetime. Once again I feel that I have met people that I never want to part from, and who I feel are integral to the plans God has for our lives.
About two weeks ago I went to a Bethel conference where I was greatly refreshed, received lots of confirmation regarding the anointing on my voice, and was generally encouraged. I feel an important shift took place and that I have entered a new level in faith. It is even easier now to slide into heavenly realms when leading myself or others into worship, and I can feel in me a deeper joy, a more bubbling love. I remember talking to my Mumsy about it, saying that I feel more "me" than I did before, like I'm closer to the essence of who God created me to be.
I feel I have been charged to 'release' God, to enlarge His territory, through praise and worship and prophetic song. There's that Israel Houghton song where he says he can hear the Lord say: No limits. No boundaries. I see increase all around me. Stretch forth. Break forth. Release me. Enlarge my territory.
Singing that song shifted something in me. Meeting and spending time with the missionaries I caught up with and met through that conference has marked me eternally. I literally don't want to let any of them go, and I want us to serve God together. There is an excitement that stirs in me at the concept of missions through music, of calling down the heavens in heaven-inspired song and seeing and feeling atmospheres shift as people come into greater awareness of the presence of their Creator, his nearness.
A deep "yes!" resounds in me. Let it be so. This is good. So good.
All of these questions and desires bounce around in my head.
Not even two weeks ago friends of mine were caught up in worship and I had a vision of a wave of love coming to Italy. A wave of good things: love, hope, peace, healing, that would crash over the body of Christ here and we would move in an overflow of love, bringing all the good things in the wave to pass.
I asked God for a song for Italy and He gave it to me that same afternoon, showing me again the wave when I asked what I should write about, while also drawing out the importance of prophesying unity over this country.
Then, I get an email telling me I've been accepted to the graduate program I wanted.
I have to make decisions, but in reality I want it all. I want to be able to work on my degree online, continue working and doing missions on Italy, be with my mother for her wedding (!) and lead worship in Albanian for this year's Sukkot in Poland. I want a partner in my life who would have the same heart for traveling, ministering to people through music, and helping people to step into what and who God created them to do and be.
I don't think that's too much to ask.
I remember reading a pastor who said that even if we can explain a miracle scientifically, it doesn't make it less of a miracle. A miracle is in the timing. The speed of the healing, the growth. The timing and strength of the peace, the absolute perfect moment for the resolution.
And so I am here, believing for a miracle, and trusting in God's timing.