Green

This post is all about how many puns, phrases, innuendos etc. I can write using the word "green" while giving an update on my life as I currently see it.* Prepare to be made green with envy(1). Obvious opener, I know...

So, times are hard in the Label/Dilbert/Fletcher household (me my mom and her boyfriend all have different last names) and so we're a little short on the green(2). Since my mom and aforementioned boyfriend aren't the green(3) types, there isn't any recycling or separation of anything, not even to help out the people in our area who do go through the trash to cash in on empty bottles. About the only thing green about them is the boyfriend's thumb(4), evidenced by the plethora of plants competing with us for living room and balcony space.

Clearly the inflow of green stuff(same as 2) must be augmented, because here in the U.S.A. you have to have cable, internet, at least two gaming platforms and corresponding games, a flat screen HD tv, a smartphone with a data plan, and any other number of "necessary" items. My current master plan to make moolah and thus furnish the acquisition and retention of such items is singing in the subways, where I employ all four years of my hard-earned college degree to bolster up my ego as people glance at me pityingly or condescendingly. (The real purpose of the moolah is to fend off the collectors of my college loans...) Occasionally I'll get some nice smiley types. It's the only temp job so far that my mother has given me the green light(5) on, since there's the possibility of my being discovered, becoming famous and filthy rich, and thereby solving all of our problems forever, without anyone else having to do anything. Hopefully I'll have the rub of the green(6) soon. (I looked up that last one up. Apparently it's British.)

At any rate, many of these posts will cover the joy that is being a subway performer. And trust me, it's a joy. Oh, and do bear with me. I'm green(7) at this whole blogging thing.



*Some green references have been left out because they don't fit, I don't want my mom to read them and get mad at me, or I didn't know about them. :)