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Monday, April 14, 2014

On the Verge

I feel like my life right now is neatly divided into "Before Bethel Retreat" and "After Bethel Retreat". This piece here is a reflection I had before going to the retreat. My emotions were more intense than they had been in awhile, and I cried so much that my mentor at church joked once that what I needed wasn't tissues, but a pad. (Sorry for anyone who's grossed out by that humor...)

What is important when we go through these seasons is our response in the midst of it all. Do we fall to our circumstances or do we proclaim that praise shall continually flow from our mouths? Here's the reflection.

--

I cried out to the Lord and He heard my calls to Him.
In the midst of despair and confusion He did not remove His presence.
His shadow of protection rested still over me, and I have known Him as faithful.

Though in my own strength I grow weary and faint, the Lord by His own perfection sustains me.
He does not allow His daughter to fall, for He lifts me up and speaks sweet words to me, though I have turned away.

Yes, I have tried to find strength elsewhere, but it was all for nought.
For where could I go but to the Lord?
My inimitable, irreplaceable Savior, healer, redeemer, friend, yes, You are all I need!

You are a fountain within me, ever fresh, ever changing, and yet Your essence always the same. Living, renewing, restoring, healing, refreshing waters.

Though I stray You do not for You cannot deny Yourself. Oh my Lord my God, I have known You as faithful!

Sunday, April 13, 2014

A New Song

It took me awhile to figure out what I wanted to call this song, and then the other day it just came to me, reflecting a  wonderful change in my relationship with God: Papa

Papa

I didn't even have to make You want me. You sought me first.
I didn't even try to make You love me. You loved me first.

Now I'm swimming in Your love.
You are living in my heart.
Your grace has been more than enough for me.

You are everything I ever wanted, beyond compare.
I don't even have to ever wonder. You're always there.

Now I'm swimming in Your love.
You are living in my heart.
Your grace has been more than enough for me

Your favor falls as praises rise and we draw near to You.
God You come in glory, Your fire consumes and we are flames for You.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

A Post Bethel Retreat Reflection

Today

Today is a day like any other, and yet it is a day unlike any other. New habits form like goosebumps on the backs of my arms, accompanied always by excitement, tingles, the increased rate of the beating of my heart.

No detail is too small for God, and He's so gentle with us. Each new hair raising, spine tingling experience teaches me to become more accustomed to it, so that it becomes natural. Not that I become less sensitive to these new things, but that I come to expect them, look for them.

The supernatural becomes natural.

Friday, April 11, 2014

One (A Song for Italy)/ Una Sola Cosa (Una canzone per l'Italia)

 
There's a wave of love breaking walls and washing borders clear. We all are one.
There's a wave of hope reconnecting what's been torn apart. We all are one.

Let the waters flow. Dive deep to where the treasure lies.
Walk upon the land and call for it to be revived.
We can see awakening rushing like the wind as we are one.

There's a wave of joy joining hands and lighting up the dark. We all are one.
There's a wave of peace calling all to enter in Your rest. We all are one.

Let the waters flow. Dive deep to where the treasure lies.
Walk upon the land and call for it to be revived.
We can see awakening rushing like the wind as

See how the chains have broken.
Hear how the walls have fallen.
Enter in with arms raised in victory.
Be revived!

Let the waters flow. Dive deep to where the treasure lies.
Walk upon the land and call for it to be revived.
We can see awakening rushing like the wind as we are one.
 ---
Traduzione fatta dalla mia BELLISSIMA conquillina che adoro e adorerò per SEMPRE!! :D

C'è un'onda d'amore che infrange i muri e cancella le divisioni. Siamo una cosa sola. 
C'è un'onda di speranza che ricuce ciò che è stato separato. Siamo una cosa sola. 

 Lascia che le acque scorrano. Tuffati in profondità dove c'è il tesoro. 
Cammina sulla terra e dichiaralo che vivi! 
Possiamo vedere il risveglio come un soffio di vento quando siamo una cosa sola. 

C'è un'onda di gioia che porta luce all'oscurità. Siamo una cosa sola. 
C'è un'onda di pace che chiama tutti ad entrare nel Tuo riposo. Siamo una cosa sola. 

Lascia che le acque scorrano. Tuffati in profondità dove c'è il tesoro. 
Cammina sulla terra e dichiaralo che vivi! 
Possiamo vedere il risveglio come un soffio di vento quando siamo una cosa sola. 

 Guarda come sono state spezzate le catene. 
Senti come sono stati abbattuti i muri. 
Entra con le braccia alzate in vittoria. Si è risvegliato! 

Lascia che le acque scorrano. Tuffati in profondità dove c'è il tesoro. 
Cammina sulla terra e dichiaralo che vivi! 
Possiamo vedere il risveglio come un soffio di vento quando siamo una cosa sola.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Catching Up

I've written tons (songs, poems, rambling thoughts in my journal) and so much has happened since my last post. A few weeks can seem like a lifetime when the Lord is working things through in you, and introducing you to people who in the span of mere minutes impact you for a lifetime. Once again I feel that I have met people that I never want to part from, and who I feel are integral to the plans God has for our lives.

About two weeks ago I went to a Bethel conference where I was greatly refreshed, received lots of confirmation regarding the anointing on my voice, and was generally encouraged. I feel an important shift took place and that I have entered a new level in faith. It is even easier now to slide into heavenly realms when leading myself or others into worship, and I can feel in me a deeper joy, a more bubbling love. I remember talking to my Mumsy about it, saying that I feel more "me" than I did before, like I'm closer to the essence of who God created me to be.

I feel I have been charged to 'release' God, to enlarge His territory, through praise and worship and prophetic song. There's that Israel Houghton song where he says he can hear the Lord say: No limits. No boundaries. I see increase all around me. Stretch forth. Break forth. Release me. Enlarge my territory.

Singing that song shifted something in me. Meeting and spending time with the missionaries I caught up with and met through that conference has marked me eternally. I literally don't want to let any of them go, and I want us to serve God together. There is an excitement that stirs in me at the concept of missions through music, of calling down the heavens in heaven-inspired song and seeing and feeling atmospheres shift as people come into greater awareness of the presence of their Creator, his nearness.

A deep "yes!" resounds in me. Let it be so. This is good. So good.

All of these questions and desires bounce around in my head.
Not even two weeks ago friends of mine were caught up in worship and I had a vision of a wave of love coming to Italy. A wave of good things: love, hope, peace, healing, that would crash over the body of Christ here and we would move in an overflow of love, bringing all the good things in the wave to pass.

I asked God for a song for Italy and He gave it to me that same afternoon, showing me again the wave when I asked what I should write about, while also drawing out the importance of prophesying unity over this country.

Then, I get an email telling me I've been accepted to the graduate program I wanted.
I have to make decisions, but in reality I want it all. I want to be able to work on my degree online, continue working and doing missions on Italy, be with my mother for her wedding (!) and lead worship in Albanian for this year's Sukkot in Poland. I want a partner in my life who would have the same heart for traveling, ministering to people through music, and helping people to step into what and who God created them to do and be.

I don't think that's too much to ask.
I remember reading a pastor who said that even if we can explain a miracle scientifically, it doesn't make it less of a miracle. A miracle is in the timing. The speed of the healing, the growth. The timing and strength of the peace, the absolute perfect moment for the resolution.

And so I am here, believing for a miracle, and trusting in God's timing.