Thursday, October 10, 2013

Silver linings around half full glasses (unsuccessful combination, but whatevs...)

I have been so deliriously happy that I don't know what to do with myself. This state of bliss comes as a complete shock to me because I haven't been having an easy time of it, regardless of how you look at things. Whoo-hoo fruit of the Spirit! These past weeks saw me in an unenviable position in just about every major and not so major aspect of life. And yet I'm happy. I suppose I'm a glass half full kind of person.

I mean, I've been so glowing these past two weeks that people randomly smile at me on the streets, and there is a decided pep in my step even when they don't. Everything was such a mess that there was nothing to do but trust in God. There is such a beautiful weightlessness when we actually cast our burdens on the Lord. I was almost upset when my financial situation was resolved, because it meant I had to start being responsible for it again. Though perhaps the lesson here is to leave my finances in God's care and have done with it. Why not just do that with my entire life? That way I can continue to waft about in this beautiful place of being fully aware of and responding to what's happening without suffering the crushing worry, guilt, shame and other accompanying emotions that went along with my perceived successes and failures.

I've decided to count my blessings, take note of them, savor them, and look back on them whenever future trials come. And of course, troubles will come. But victory is (literally) my middle name, and now more than ever I feel the appropriateness and power of my name. Happy Victory Arrow-maker.

My mother named me well.

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