I'm sitting on a playground bench eating chocolates and writing in a journal. I cast the occasional piercing, discerning glance about me. I like to think I make quite a picture, with the bright pink of my new blouse peeking through on this unfortunately dull and cloudy Spring afternoon.
I am painfully early for work.
Despite the chill in the air I sit on this not-so-freshly-painted green bench because I don't have any cash on hand. I won't have any until my lesson tonight, but I think I can survive without coffee and brioches until tomorrow.
This city often has a heaviness to it, and kind gestures are therefore especially appreciated on days like this. I want to be extra kind today.
I am reminding myself that this time is a gift.
Yes, this time is a gift.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Music, Ministry, Calling, and Clarity
From the title you more or less get an idea of what this post is about. Basically, I'm in a period where I desperately need clarity in how, where and when my calling of a music ministry is going to take place. Now, I don't need God to tell me the whole story, because then I wouldn't exactly be walking in faith (well, I would, but it'd be different, you know?), and then some of the fun of the journey would be taken out. What I just want to know is the next step. Which country, which city, how to procure documents for this place I've been called to, and how I should support myself/be supported financially. I am down to the wire, folks. For real.
Recently I had a dream in which it was felt pretty clearly that God was telling me to take good care of the music ministry given to me.This is the same dream in which I also received a huge barrel of gifts. Then, there were two occasions immediately following in which while I was leading worship, people started crying. And I mean crying. Ok. So God is using me. Excellent. Now, what should I do, exactly, to take care of this ministry? I received a word from God during worship this Sunday service, in which I was told to rise up and do the work He set before me. So yea, it's time for me to get proactive about this. But again, how?
I feel a bit like a whiny broken record that even I want to toss into a corner, but it's those whiny kids who eventually always get what they want, isn't it? I would love to be able to come to God about this like a well-ordered, organized adult, but honestly I feel like wiggling in frustrated immaturity, pouting my lip, furrowing my eyebrows, and releasing a squeally, utterly annoying, "waaaaaaaaaah". I cannot even fully articulate all of the questions I have right now...
Still, I am encouraged because "the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." Romans 8:25-27, NIV
I've been encouraged to pray these verses from Ephesians, asking for wisdom of revelatiom. The idea is to personalize the prayer, so you pray it for yourself. Then you can also pray it for others.
Ephesians 1:17-23
New Living Translation (NLT)
17 asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. 18 I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.
19 I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power 20 that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.21 Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come. 22 God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. 23 And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself.
Ephesians 3:14-21
New Living Translation (NLT)
14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, 15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. 16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.
I'll end this post with a Psalm that over the past weeks has already been a great encouragement to pray: Psalm 138
A psalm of David.
1 I give you thanks, O Lord, with all my heart;
I will sing your praises before the gods.
2 I bow before your holy Temple as I worship.
I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness;
for your promises are backed
by all the honor of your name.
3 As soon as I pray, you answer me;
you encourage me by giving me strength.
4 Every king in all the earth will thank you, Lord,
for all of them will hear your words.
5 Yes, they will sing about the Lord’s ways,
for the glory of the Lord is very great.
6 Though the Lord is great, he cares for the humble,
but he keeps his distance from the proud.
7 Though I am surrounded by troubles,
you will protect me from the anger of my enemies.
You reach out your hand,
and the power of your right hand saves me.
8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life—
for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Don’t abandon me, for you made me.
NLT
* Bible passages retrieved from: biblegateway.com
Recently I had a dream in which it was felt pretty clearly that God was telling me to take good care of the music ministry given to me.This is the same dream in which I also received a huge barrel of gifts. Then, there were two occasions immediately following in which while I was leading worship, people started crying. And I mean crying. Ok. So God is using me. Excellent. Now, what should I do, exactly, to take care of this ministry? I received a word from God during worship this Sunday service, in which I was told to rise up and do the work He set before me. So yea, it's time for me to get proactive about this. But again, how?
I feel a bit like a whiny broken record that even I want to toss into a corner, but it's those whiny kids who eventually always get what they want, isn't it? I would love to be able to come to God about this like a well-ordered, organized adult, but honestly I feel like wiggling in frustrated immaturity, pouting my lip, furrowing my eyebrows, and releasing a squeally, utterly annoying, "waaaaaaaaaah". I cannot even fully articulate all of the questions I have right now...
Still, I am encouraged because "the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." Romans 8:25-27, NIV
I've been encouraged to pray these verses from Ephesians, asking for wisdom of revelatiom. The idea is to personalize the prayer, so you pray it for yourself. Then you can also pray it for others.
Ephesians 1:17-23
New Living Translation (NLT)
17 asking God, the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God. 18 I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.
19 I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power 20 that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.21 Now he is far above any ruler or authority or power or leader or anything else—not only in this world but also in the world to come. 22 God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. 23 And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself.
Ephesians 3:14-21
New Living Translation (NLT)
14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, 15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. 16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.
I'll end this post with a Psalm that over the past weeks has already been a great encouragement to pray: Psalm 138
A psalm of David.
1 I give you thanks, O Lord, with all my heart;
I will sing your praises before the gods.
2 I bow before your holy Temple as I worship.
I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness;
for your promises are backed
by all the honor of your name.
3 As soon as I pray, you answer me;
you encourage me by giving me strength.
4 Every king in all the earth will thank you, Lord,
for all of them will hear your words.
5 Yes, they will sing about the Lord’s ways,
for the glory of the Lord is very great.
6 Though the Lord is great, he cares for the humble,
but he keeps his distance from the proud.
7 Though I am surrounded by troubles,
you will protect me from the anger of my enemies.
You reach out your hand,
and the power of your right hand saves me.
8 The Lord will work out his plans for my life—
for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Don’t abandon me, for you made me.
NLT
* Bible passages retrieved from: biblegateway.com
Friday, March 21, 2014
Spoiled
Sometimes getting a little spoiled can be a good thing. A little pampering, a little being taken care of, loved. Nothing wrong with that.
Lately I've felt incredibly spoiled. But what that really means is that I'm not used to, or perhaps I should say I am uncomfortable with the amount of good vibrations coming my way. It is natural for me to accept love from my mother. It is natural for me to encourage and counsel others. Now I am learning to be encouraged, to receive, to abide in my Savior.
I'm being inundated with love. All around me there are little reminders, little whispers of I love you...
Lately I've felt incredibly spoiled. But what that really means is that I'm not used to, or perhaps I should say I am uncomfortable with the amount of good vibrations coming my way. It is natural for me to accept love from my mother. It is natural for me to encourage and counsel others. Now I am learning to be encouraged, to receive, to abide in my Savior.
I'm being inundated with love. All around me there are little reminders, little whispers of I love you...
... I care about you
I'm taking care of you...
... You are important to me
You are special...
...You are made in my image
I have clothed you in My righteousness...
...I am you portion
I am working all things for your good...
Find your delight in Me and I will give you the desires of your heart...
See, all these things will come and have already come to pass!
Believe in your worth, because I have given it to You, and you can always find it in Me
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Revolutionary Smile!
** Before you go on to the poem, can I just say how true this turned out to be? I wrote this poem on my way to work this morning. Every morning I say hello to the lady who sits at and monitors the school entrance while enclosed in her glass box, and every morning she either ignores me, doesn't hear me, or sort of frowns in return. Today, having just finished writing this poem, my smile was feeling revolutionary, and I felt the power of God's joy flowing through me. This morning the lady smiled back at me! It was a little tentative, but I could see real pleasure at being greeted cheerfully and not just ignored like most people do when they enter the school building. I've been smiling at her and saying "good morning" for months, people. Even when you don't see an immediate outward change, know that God is moving in the spiritual realms. In order to get to know her better, in order to witness to her effectively, I needed to be patient and consistent in showing love. She will respond now if I go up and ask her name and share a bit about my testimony. A foundation has been laid now. Even some parents lit up when I greeted them this morning as they waited for teacher conferences. Light is powerful folks. God is good! Ok. Here's the poem.
Revolutionary Smile
This is dangerous.
In a city so full of doom and gloom frowns, a smile is revolutionary.
This morning, I am especially so.
My smile is as wide as the Grand Canyon, yet it represents only a fraction of the immense joy in my soul.
Song bursts forth from my mouth; I no longer care that I'm in public.
Today I am a songbird gleefully releasing her morning melody.
Today, I taste God's presence like a child tasting ice-cream for the first time on a hot summer's day.
Cool, sweet, refreshing.
Today, I dwell upon God like we dwell upon 1st love's 1st kiss. I feel the excitement of being with Him well up within me.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good!"
I have, and there will never be enough words to describe it for I cannot even completely understand the fullness of His goodness.
This is dangerous.
This smile is a light in the darkness that will not be overcome, but change almost always causes a push back.
I'm ready.
Revolutionary Smile
This is dangerous.
In a city so full of doom and gloom frowns, a smile is revolutionary.
This morning, I am especially so.
My smile is as wide as the Grand Canyon, yet it represents only a fraction of the immense joy in my soul.
Song bursts forth from my mouth; I no longer care that I'm in public.
Today I am a songbird gleefully releasing her morning melody.
Today, I taste God's presence like a child tasting ice-cream for the first time on a hot summer's day.
Cool, sweet, refreshing.
Today, I dwell upon God like we dwell upon 1st love's 1st kiss. I feel the excitement of being with Him well up within me.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good!"
I have, and there will never be enough words to describe it for I cannot even completely understand the fullness of His goodness.
This is dangerous.
This smile is a light in the darkness that will not be overcome, but change almost always causes a push back.
I'm ready.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Gift Upon Gift
One recent gift that I haven't blogged about yet was the one in which God allowed me to lead worship from the floor. Literally, the floor. To be more specific, this was during Saturday's worship at the youth service.
I tend to hold my worship in sometimes, but then the Holy Spirit bursts in me and there's no shame, only loud proclamations of God's goodness. God has given me an ear for medleys, and that is often a large component of how I lead worship.
We were worshipping to Kari Jobe's "You are For Me", in Italian, of course, when I notice that the chord loop we were on worked for another one of my favorite worship songs. So there I am, singing "Su di noi" (Let it Rain-Jesus Culture), tranquil as can be, when the Spirit bursts in me and I start wailing on "Where You Go I Go" (also Jesus Culture, Bethel Church). While not the same key, the melody fits over the chord structure.I'm having a medley good time. I go between that and "Let it Rain". It was a special moment, really, because during that time I was feeling self conscious about how loud I can sometimes get when I'm praising. It was like God broke down the door and opened the floodgates of heaven like I was asking in the song, and let it flow through my vocal chords. I didn't have any brain cells to spare to care about whether or not people thought I was being obnoxious.
Anyway, I stay in this special place a bit, though much quieter than before, moving between songs, when the worship leader switches to "Let it Rain"! He did a medley! Oh the joy that rose up within me! As far as I can tell, they've never done this before. I was so excited, and I felt like God was telling me, "I'm using you no matter where you are in the congregation". Leading worship is my ministry, no matter where I am!
You see, I know they heard me on stage because for about a month now after almost every Saturday service someone on stage tells me about how they heard me worshipping on the floor, and it blessed them. Even the guy in my cell group who is always really far back on the stage, next to the drums. Even I was surprised with the strength and volume of what came out of me while I was worshipping, so I'm pretty sure they heard me on stage. Again.
So, in this past week of gift upon gift, this was one of the sweetest. Truly, all you need to do is be the light God made you to be, seek His kingdom, and you'll walk in the promises of His Word. The blessings overflow in abundance!
I tend to hold my worship in sometimes, but then the Holy Spirit bursts in me and there's no shame, only loud proclamations of God's goodness. God has given me an ear for medleys, and that is often a large component of how I lead worship.
We were worshipping to Kari Jobe's "You are For Me", in Italian, of course, when I notice that the chord loop we were on worked for another one of my favorite worship songs. So there I am, singing "Su di noi" (Let it Rain-Jesus Culture), tranquil as can be, when the Spirit bursts in me and I start wailing on "Where You Go I Go" (also Jesus Culture, Bethel Church). While not the same key, the melody fits over the chord structure.I'm having a medley good time. I go between that and "Let it Rain". It was a special moment, really, because during that time I was feeling self conscious about how loud I can sometimes get when I'm praising. It was like God broke down the door and opened the floodgates of heaven like I was asking in the song, and let it flow through my vocal chords. I didn't have any brain cells to spare to care about whether or not people thought I was being obnoxious.
Anyway, I stay in this special place a bit, though much quieter than before, moving between songs, when the worship leader switches to "Let it Rain"! He did a medley! Oh the joy that rose up within me! As far as I can tell, they've never done this before. I was so excited, and I felt like God was telling me, "I'm using you no matter where you are in the congregation". Leading worship is my ministry, no matter where I am!
You see, I know they heard me on stage because for about a month now after almost every Saturday service someone on stage tells me about how they heard me worshipping on the floor, and it blessed them. Even the guy in my cell group who is always really far back on the stage, next to the drums. Even I was surprised with the strength and volume of what came out of me while I was worshipping, so I'm pretty sure they heard me on stage. Again.
So, in this past week of gift upon gift, this was one of the sweetest. Truly, all you need to do is be the light God made you to be, seek His kingdom, and you'll walk in the promises of His Word. The blessings overflow in abundance!
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Cool Ways I Met God Recently...
So! Wassup?
It struck me this morning on my way to work that I've had lots of wonderful divine encounters. From meeting friends on late night trains and stopping for a chat and a prayer, from running into people I never expected to, and schedules just happening to click, everything is coming together in the coolest ways!
I'll start from the middle.
On Wednesday I had the morning off from work and decided to use that for quiet time and a morning fast, instead of the lunch fast I had planned around my usual schedule. Awesome. Then that evening I shared the message in small group, and that was awesome too! It was really a God given word, and many people received :D.
Then Thursday, somehow my schedule worked out, despite everything getting moved around, and even though I had missed two meals instead of one (hungry Allegra= She Hulk. seriously.), God gave me the patience to deal with an incredibly unfortunately behaved little girl, to the point that her mother commented on my patience at the end of the lesson to the father when he got home. God is good!
Then on Friday I went to an open mic where I shared one of the songs I recently wrote from my times of worship and personal time with God, and on Sunday I ran into someone from the bar where I played. He invited me to sing with his buddies next Sunday, and you can bet I and a few others will be there! We just happened to go to Sempione for our after church worship, and there you go: evangelism opportunities! Assuming the weather holds up, we'll run into each other again.
This Sunday was pretty much fantabulous. Not too long ago I remember reminiscing over a group hang out at my friend Alisa's house that happened a few months ago. It was so anointed that people still bring it up to me when we run into each other at church. It was with mostly these people that I hung out with this Sunday afternoon, and so we were all primed for the movement of the Holy Spirit. One of the guys in this group had come to church with a friend who was going through a rough time and reached out to him for some spiritual guidance. While we were all there sitting in the grass in the middle of crowded park belting out worship songs in English and Italian to our heart's content, he starts crying. Apparently it was right as we started singing, "All consuming fire. You're our heart's desire. Living flame of love, come baptize us."
Naturally we're all excited about this. Another girl new to our group who was a friend just happened to have had a similar experience last week, and when she felt led by God to go and pray with him and listened, that's when he let loose the flow. Apparently he started crying as soon as he got to church too, and so I'm sure this is not a day he'll easily forget. We're praying for him to give his heart fully to God, and I'm trusting in His timing.
Then we continued worshiping into the late night, but inside since it was getting cold and people had to leave, and I became aware of just how important my quiet time is as a worship leader. I pour out a lot when I lead worship, and I need to remember to have time to receive from God. So when I took some time to rest during our evening worship, it was nice. But then for the last 30-40 minutes I needed to pick up my guitar! It will be good for me to learn to receive even as I pour out, because when leading worship I feel the most "me". The most what I was made to be.
The last thing I'm noticing is God's provision. I've had a few extra expenses coming up, what with a Bethel retreat I registered for and the setting up of my hopefully functional new/old iPhone 3, but I've also had a flood of new requests for private lessons, all of which fit into my crazy schedule. This week I'm doing three lessons more than I did last week! That makes a huge difference for me, and I'm so grateful.
I'm especially looking forward to Thursday, since I work with one of my favorite (yes, I've got faves) students, and then I start with a new student from the group of friends I praise with. It's the guy who brought his friend on Sunday. These types of lessons are nice because we'll be able to fellowship and talk about God as His English improves.
Ok, now that I've written a short novel here, I'll end the post. This is what happens when I can only update when I have access to public wifi or the computers at work! Trusting God for a wifi revolution at my apartment!
Ciao ciao folks!
It struck me this morning on my way to work that I've had lots of wonderful divine encounters. From meeting friends on late night trains and stopping for a chat and a prayer, from running into people I never expected to, and schedules just happening to click, everything is coming together in the coolest ways!
I'll start from the middle.
On Wednesday I had the morning off from work and decided to use that for quiet time and a morning fast, instead of the lunch fast I had planned around my usual schedule. Awesome. Then that evening I shared the message in small group, and that was awesome too! It was really a God given word, and many people received :D.
Then Thursday, somehow my schedule worked out, despite everything getting moved around, and even though I had missed two meals instead of one (hungry Allegra= She Hulk. seriously.), God gave me the patience to deal with an incredibly unfortunately behaved little girl, to the point that her mother commented on my patience at the end of the lesson to the father when he got home. God is good!
Then on Friday I went to an open mic where I shared one of the songs I recently wrote from my times of worship and personal time with God, and on Sunday I ran into someone from the bar where I played. He invited me to sing with his buddies next Sunday, and you can bet I and a few others will be there! We just happened to go to Sempione for our after church worship, and there you go: evangelism opportunities! Assuming the weather holds up, we'll run into each other again.
This Sunday was pretty much fantabulous. Not too long ago I remember reminiscing over a group hang out at my friend Alisa's house that happened a few months ago. It was so anointed that people still bring it up to me when we run into each other at church. It was with mostly these people that I hung out with this Sunday afternoon, and so we were all primed for the movement of the Holy Spirit. One of the guys in this group had come to church with a friend who was going through a rough time and reached out to him for some spiritual guidance. While we were all there sitting in the grass in the middle of crowded park belting out worship songs in English and Italian to our heart's content, he starts crying. Apparently it was right as we started singing, "All consuming fire. You're our heart's desire. Living flame of love, come baptize us."
Naturally we're all excited about this. Another girl new to our group who was a friend just happened to have had a similar experience last week, and when she felt led by God to go and pray with him and listened, that's when he let loose the flow. Apparently he started crying as soon as he got to church too, and so I'm sure this is not a day he'll easily forget. We're praying for him to give his heart fully to God, and I'm trusting in His timing.
Then we continued worshiping into the late night, but inside since it was getting cold and people had to leave, and I became aware of just how important my quiet time is as a worship leader. I pour out a lot when I lead worship, and I need to remember to have time to receive from God. So when I took some time to rest during our evening worship, it was nice. But then for the last 30-40 minutes I needed to pick up my guitar! It will be good for me to learn to receive even as I pour out, because when leading worship I feel the most "me". The most what I was made to be.
The last thing I'm noticing is God's provision. I've had a few extra expenses coming up, what with a Bethel retreat I registered for and the setting up of my hopefully functional new/old iPhone 3, but I've also had a flood of new requests for private lessons, all of which fit into my crazy schedule. This week I'm doing three lessons more than I did last week! That makes a huge difference for me, and I'm so grateful.
I'm especially looking forward to Thursday, since I work with one of my favorite (yes, I've got faves) students, and then I start with a new student from the group of friends I praise with. It's the guy who brought his friend on Sunday. These types of lessons are nice because we'll be able to fellowship and talk about God as His English improves.
Ok, now that I've written a short novel here, I'll end the post. This is what happens when I can only update when I have access to public wifi or the computers at work! Trusting God for a wifi revolution at my apartment!
Ciao ciao folks!
Monday, March 17, 2014
Revelation
The other day I had a revelation about consecration. Often in the Bible, especially in the Hebrew Bible, we see the word 'destruction' a lot. In particular as Israel was claiming their promised land. This 'destruction' was the type of destruction associated with consecrating something or someone fully to God, as an offering.
One morning during my fast last week (it ends tomorrow!) this popped into my head, mostly in relation to this period of fasting and consecration I've entered into. Anyone who's spent any length of time with me understands that I absolutely LOVE reading, and I don't handle hunger particularly well. Therefore, deleting all of my romance novels from my kindle app (even my favorite ones!) and voluntarily choosing to skip meals was very much a sort of destruction of myself. It was a sacrifice. But you see, I chose to do this, and this revelation coming to me was almost like a 'good job' from above, a sort of confirmation of my journey.
Suffering is part of the package when you choose to follow Christ, but I daresay that sounds worse than it actually is. Every sacrifice brings with it its reward. There comes a point where "suffering" takes on a different meaning.There are many accounts in the Bible and elsewhere, where people rejoice in trials, tribulations, and the like, and thank God that they were counted worthy of suffering for Jesus Christ.
I can't say I was jumping for joy all of last week, but I can say that I had some very special moments with the Lord. And definitely my relationship to food has changed. Today would definitely be the first time I was physically unable to finish a pizza. And the old adage, "There's always room for dessert", well that wasn't the case today. Half of my small cup of ice cream went down the drain. There are worse things, I suppose.
Well, today I've also gone to get my new/old phone fixed. I haven't had a smart phone since coming to Italy, but it hadn't been a problem until WhatsApp became the primary form of communication amongst essentially everyone I know. One of my small group members gave me his old iPhone 3 for my birthday, to remedy the issue. Very nice of him, except that it doesn't charge. I'm hoping that it's just a port problem, and that it will charge once that gets replaced. We shall see.
Either way, it's been quite a lovely sunny day! I'm definitely loving this weather!
One morning during my fast last week (it ends tomorrow!) this popped into my head, mostly in relation to this period of fasting and consecration I've entered into. Anyone who's spent any length of time with me understands that I absolutely LOVE reading, and I don't handle hunger particularly well. Therefore, deleting all of my romance novels from my kindle app (even my favorite ones!) and voluntarily choosing to skip meals was very much a sort of destruction of myself. It was a sacrifice. But you see, I chose to do this, and this revelation coming to me was almost like a 'good job' from above, a sort of confirmation of my journey.
Suffering is part of the package when you choose to follow Christ, but I daresay that sounds worse than it actually is. Every sacrifice brings with it its reward. There comes a point where "suffering" takes on a different meaning.There are many accounts in the Bible and elsewhere, where people rejoice in trials, tribulations, and the like, and thank God that they were counted worthy of suffering for Jesus Christ.
I can't say I was jumping for joy all of last week, but I can say that I had some very special moments with the Lord. And definitely my relationship to food has changed. Today would definitely be the first time I was physically unable to finish a pizza. And the old adage, "There's always room for dessert", well that wasn't the case today. Half of my small cup of ice cream went down the drain. There are worse things, I suppose.
Well, today I've also gone to get my new/old phone fixed. I haven't had a smart phone since coming to Italy, but it hadn't been a problem until WhatsApp became the primary form of communication amongst essentially everyone I know. One of my small group members gave me his old iPhone 3 for my birthday, to remedy the issue. Very nice of him, except that it doesn't charge. I'm hoping that it's just a port problem, and that it will charge once that gets replaced. We shall see.
Either way, it's been quite a lovely sunny day! I'm definitely loving this weather!
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