Post 38

Ohhhhhh my goodness.

Ok. So today I started what I thought would be a harmless unit on immigration, ethnicity, and race in Italy with a third year class. We were supposed to have a short discussion orienting their ideas around Italy, and then move on to the reading about diversity in the U.K. However, maybe one student had their book, and since my goal is to get the students speaking more than anything else anyway, we started an impromptu lesson going deeper into diversity issues in Italy.

I've never before had to establish safe space in a classroom, though I think now that any other times I lead these types of discussions, no matter the setting, that it will be the first thing I do. Anyone who knows me or has read any of my blog understands that diversity issues are deeply personal and important to me. Therefore, I made a concerted effort to keep myself out of the discussion and encouraged students to answer honestly. I'd say I got what I asked for.

What came forth were glaring disparities in the way certain immigrant groups are perceived. With African immigrants, 80% were considered to be thieves, drug dealers etc, and only 20% "normal people". With European immigrants, the division was 50-50. The further east one goes, however, the closer these immigrants get to the statistics on African immigrants.

It was around this time that I began to pull things out of what my students were telling me. They mentioned again and again that this is what they saw around them. This was their reality. I wanted to honor that while challenging them to give their reality a second glance. I asked if there were any immigrants in the classroom, and there was: one student from Morocco.This was when I began to tease apart the statistics, draw out the stereotypes, and point out disparities. Why is it that immigrants of color are thought to be the worst? Whose fault is it that no one has a job? What do people come here for? What are there experiences when they get here? What is this nation's responsibility to refugees and other immigrants, if it has one at all?

I then asked my students what they thought of me. The ones who responded had nice things to say. Then I got personal with them, and that's when they got personal with me. I told them that when I am on the street I am not seen as American. I am perceived as an African immigrant just like every other person of color walking by. "If I don't open my mouth," I told them, "no one is going to know I'm American." In fact, very often I've surprised people by telling them I was American, and some people were so fixed on me being African it took them awhile to place the United States on their mental map.

I asked my students to share some more, and as often happens, the focus turned to the one immigrant student to share her opinion. Up until this point she had been silent. At first she was hesitant to share because she "risked killing someone in this class and ending up in jail", but once the words started, it was like a dam had broken and a rush of words spilled forth. It soon became apparent who that student was, and the high energy charged the classroom up faster than I knew how to handle the situation.

I inserted myself between the students, and then I set the ground rules that I never thought I'd needed to set. I clearly established the rules for safe space and healthy dialogue with the students, encouraging them to listen to everything someone says, whether or not they agree, and then respond to the statements, without calling each other names.

One of the ideas that came up was that of being a global citizen. Continuing on in this unit, I asked the students to think and write for homework about where they place themselves in the world. Do they feel fully a part of the environment they find themselves in? Why or why not? What types of things might influence someone to feel more of a global citizen than a citizen of where they come from or are currently located?

As we closed the class, I emphasized the importance of respect for one another, and I shared that I've chosen to forgive in the past, and I choose to continue to do so in the future. I imagine that I'll be sharing my Kalisz story with them next week.

When the bell rang there was an audible sound of regret, and I feel that for the students they felt they were on the verge of important growth. I am so happy for them! They chose to open themselves up to a new teacher, and we were able to have a discussion that I feel is important for this group of students in particular. I saw many looks of dawning comprehension as new connections were made, and so I consider today to have been successful. I know that there are still students with whom I do not share opinions fully, but they have begun to look with fresh eyes at their lived situation, and in the end that is what I want: not to make up your mind for you, but for you to question and critically engage with what you see and hear, so that you do not allow others to either.

Post 37

After trying to plan a party my cell group ended with an extended time of worship. It was wonderful, spirit-filled, and just... awesome. For the first time I felt a clear prophetic pull, and as I was writing while we sang, I began to write as if God were speaking. I'm still not sure who this is for. I can relate to it but I'm not sure this was for me. At any rate, I was afraid to share it, and then one of our group leaders prayed for us to be free and share prophetically. So I did. Here's what I wrote.

1.
Let me sing you a love song.
Let me tell You how much I love you.
Let me show you how I've bled for you.
Let me in.

Let me show you the plans I've set for you, the founts of life overflowing, affecting nations, hearts, minds, ALL for my glory.
Let me in!

Share with me the greatest love story there ever was.
The greatest love story there ever will be.
Will you taste this love?
It's yours for the taking.
I'm yours for the taking.


Then I wrote something else and our other leader shared a message right after that I felt was for me and confirmed what I had written. He said he felt someone was worried about their future, and God was telling them to rest in Him, and know that He had it all under control. Here's what I had written.

2.
I named you in the womb.
I have set your paths from the very beginning.
Trust me. Keep your eyes on me.


The last piece I wrote is what I'll end this post with.

3.
How beautiful is Your presence.
How wonderful, how magnificent is your inner court.
it shines bright with Your majesty. Yes, it is resplendent with Your light.

Post 36

So, my cell group is planning a Valentine's Day party. Lord...

It turns out that only two of us have romantic partners, and the rest of us are not-so-subtly trying to join the ranks. The party is supposed to be organized for the entire youth group, consisting of at least 100 people, and all 10 of us are expected to be ready for February 15th. As a reminder, we started planning this today.

And by planning, I mean talking over each other for an hour.

I have volunteered to act in our little skit that will be drafted the morning (I hope...) of the party, and am also part of the decoration crew. There might even be a little talent show organized that I will sing in. There might also be themed dress.  I realized rather quickly that my choices are...limited. Current top of the list of heroines of romantic movies to dress as is ...(drumroll please)... Disney Princess Tiana.
Given the rather large of amounts of "there might be's", this venture is riding on faith. Definitely.

Love is literally in the air.

People have been casting calf eyes at each other all month. Literally. Like, since that all night prayer meeting. (I don't care if it hasn't even been seven days into the month yet. It's still all month!)

I was hoping we'd do something more like, I dunno, a reading of Song of Solomon. Or maybe we could talk about keeping oil in our lamps so that we'd have enough when the groom shows up. But we are in Italy, and a certain city is only like an hour away. So of course everyone wants to do Romeo and Juliet. So original.

I think I'm too hard on my teammates. It's not as if I'd come with anything better. Either way, I'm excited to see how this turns out, and you can bet I'll be writing about it ;).

Post 35

The only thing that upsets me about entering the month of February is that I can no longer figure out what post number I'm on using the day of the month. No matter. There are more important things, such as the fact that in the U.S., it's Black History Month! Whoot whoot!

I've been wondering how to celebrate this month and keep it relative as I live in Europe. As you can imagine, there isn't exactly a month like that in Italy. However, I have found that a lot of my classes are covering civil rights issues. A rights issue is always worth covering, I say.

So yea, here I am, teacing again. It's funny because I was not very eager to begin doing this again. Maybe it was being home, or maybe it was the idea of teaching without having rested much from activities and traveling. Either way, I was not excited. But then I remembered how I felt last year, even up until I went home for Christmas.

I loved doing this. And judging by the flash cards and encouraging stickers I gushed over and immediately purchased (well ok, Mom paid for them...) in the dollar store when I went home, I felt that deep down that hadn't changed. So I prayed, and then I prayed some more. My first class didn't go so well and I finished with a sore throat. I kept optimistic, however, and the next day was marvelous! I mean, who knew that comparing and contrasting A Brave New World and 1984, and reviewing Lord of the Flies could be so much fun!

My afternoon class was a little more rowdy, but I've learned now that these students respond better to flash cards (of which I now have plenty) and games where they can move a bit.

So all in all, I feel that my teacher heart is restored, and in a sense so is my missional heart. When I can better love my work and my students, and I can better share the heart of Christ. Words don't convince anyone of anything. It's the testimony of a life lived through actions. I pray that mine remain rooted in Christ.

Post 34

A friend asked me to send a write-up of what I do in Italy. Here's what I sent her.

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What I do in Italy.

It is somewhat difficult for me to piece together what it is exactly I do in Italy. What I am not doing in Italy might be easier to handle. I learned long ago that we bring ourselves with us wherever we go, so all of my energy, thoughts, and interests have followed me to Italy, and I have found a way to engage and be engaged with all of me.

My day job, you could say, is teaching English as a Second Language. My internship through the SITE (Study, Intercultural Training, and Experience) program doesn’t pay enough to keep bread on the table and a roof over my head, and so my second job is also teaching ESL, but with elementary aged students. I also do private lessons, translations, editing of theses, and other such things.

Despite the largely minimal interest in learning English, I’ve had some wonderful times in the classroom, and I’ve always enjoyed a good challenge anyhow. My real passion, however, is being a missionary. I pray for my students, and my faith and desire to see them grow and reach their potential helps me through the more difficult lessons.

When appropriate, I share my missionary heart with my students. One of my favorite moments was when I told a class that my future goals were to be a missionary in Italy, and they reacted with utter incredulity. What followed was a wonderful discussion on the over emphasis of Africa as the “starving continent” where the missionaries were “really” needed. I shared that spiritual health and healing is important everywhere, and often “those starving people in Africa” are in better spiritual health than the well-to-do people in Europe and the U.S.A. I explained that to me a missionary is someone who has a mission, and that I can follow my mission to serve God to the utmost wherever He calls me. It’s okay that He didn’t call me to Africa. It wasn’t a fluke.

While pursuing this mission in Italy I have come across a wonderful body of believers. I strive to encourage everyone I come across. I’ve been praying that my mindset be changed so that I seek to serve, and not be served, and that I always take advantage of opportunities to be loving. I’ve been praying this for a month now and I am finding out that I am not nearly as loving as I thought I was!

In my church here in Italy I serve by leading worship in my small group and encouraging people on their walks with God. They encourage me too. The praise and worship jam sessions at my apartment have been some of the most fulfilling times of my life artistically, relationally, spiritually, and emotionally. I’ve also gone to Poland to lead worship during a week-long retreat with other members of my church, and I sang in Italian! Talk about amazing opportunities and experiences. I love intercultural worship, and hearing other countries in Europe worship in their languages was wonderful.

 In April I plan to be able to speak at a conference in Moldova for ESL teachers who are also missionaries. By sharing experiences from my journey I hope to encourage them on theirs. So, what do I do in Italy? To quote the great Jill Scott, "I'm living my life like it's golden."

Post 33

This poem came out of a recent quiet time.

Untitled
I know You and am known by You
I will sing Your praises in the morning
I will sing Your praises in the afternoon
I will sing Your praises in the evening
I will sing Your praises by night

I love You and am loved by You
Though the waves get higher
I will not be overtaken
Though the darkness tries to frighten
It cannot overcome Your light

You are ever faithful, oh Mighty God
You sing a song over me
You sustain me through all
Here in Your presence I am glad
I am where I belong

Post 32

February begins!
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So, this overnight prayer service, I can definitely say, was the first time I've led worship for the church I currently attend in Italy, outside of a small group context. I'd been leading worship at small group meetings somewhat regularly before I went back to the U.S. for Christmas.

Not long after attending this church I wanted to join the worship team, but one thins after another prevented me from being involved in the way I had hoped. After this last night though I feel, I am sure rather, that everything happened as it did for a reason. I think a large part of my motivation was self aggrandizing. I cared more about people recognizing me and my talent than the God who gifted me in the first place.

Over time I've been laying these feelings down as the Holy Spirit reveals to me. I stopped pursuing the worship team, the very platform from which I had hoped to launch myself. I was happy with small group worship and I am sure that was the better place for me.

I questioned why I volunteered for prayer service until I decided to stop always doubting and second guessing myself. If God trusted me with these gifts why shouldn't I trust that He was leading me to use them in a holy manner? Why shouldn't I trust that He had brought me to where I needed to be? I knew my motivations would be revealed to me.

I think the enemy tries to keep us in a place of fear, especially regarding past mistakes. If we trust in the healing and transformational power of the Holy Spirit then we cannot have fear. I would have missed a wonderful time of worship and sharing the word had I allowed fear to get the better of me.

It was almost like Kalisz again: a beautiful body of believers worshipping in different languages, all unified by our love for Christ. Beautiful.
Here's a pic someone snapped during worship.